Beauty Marked*

status

2011-07-28T00:48:00.001+08:00

THIS BLOG IS UNDERGOING REFINEMENT.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

cut.

2010-08-15T23:15:00.001+08:00

the life i live is a viral disease

that attacks in the thick of night

unaware of its fatal presence

we consciously turn away from the light

decisions made are always wrong

there isn't a reason to live on

things come and go, it may seem

everything good only happens in a dream

they say revenge is sweet

i say death is sweeter

a life you choose will not be the life you get

because the life you get is full of regret

cuts are all you feel right now

its becomes your anesthetic somehow

the knife sharpened for duty

your skin, bare-naked and ready

against your skin, cold as it is

you grit your teeth and let it rip

a sensation you find so enduring

your life gets better, you start believing

this world is tormented, listen to no one

know what you want and let it be done

dictators and fascist are all of the past

cut it deeper and let the pain last.

you're a fag.

2010-01-24T01:56:00.003+08:00

person whose IP address is 220.255.7.157. what kind of a username is happygranny anyway. you're a homo. quit stalking my life you're not even part of it. busybody much?

go get an effin life before i track your IP address down because i can. and i will find out who you are and make your life living hell. better move out of your queenstown apartment. its a small area. use your own name for fuck sake if you're going to tag on my board. ball-less faggot.

release me.

2010-01-23T22:57:00.002+08:00

things have gone better. sometimes we try living life not knowing what comes next. and sometimes that might just work but we fail to see that it is the littlest things that matter most. and its hard to just brush it aside as much as you want to. it hurts - bad. the last time i cried this badly was when i told my mother that behind every scar on my arm carries a hurt behind it. this hurts almost just as much. i dont want to go into detail as to what happened but its just a case of humility. is it that hard to say that you're sorry or was i asking too much?

anything thats worth having is sure enough worth fighting for. quit is out of the question. we make a stop, gotta fight some more. we gotta fight for this love. its worth having. its worth fighting for.

i'm just giving myself room to breathe and think straight. dont you just hate it when your mind gets caught up with everything and you feel overwhelmed and you are unsure of what the best next step would be. i dont want to screw it up but then again, i've said all thats needed to say. whether you understand it or not, theres nothing i can do about that.

maybe its not worth it.

i'm not liking it one bit

maybe i was blind and couldnt see

there's more to things than just you and me

i tried my best

but you failed the test

now i aint sure

and i need to make myself clear

you didnt say sorry

cause it wasnt on your side of the story

you thought you were right

and it was i who started the fight

stop wasting time i feel like i'm drowning

but without you i probably wont be smiling

i'm lost and confused now

just so you know, you made me frown

hope you're happy cause you made my day

tearing it up in the worse possible way

i'm done with it now

you made me see

that maybe you and i just werent meant to be.

but i'm not giving up

cause you mean the world to me.

who's going to save me from my misery.

xoxo

Russian Roulette

2010-01-13T20:43:00.005+08:00

havent wrote since christmas. doubt people are paying any more attention to my blog now that its partially dead.

so anyway, i've been thinking a lot about jonny and i. with loran giving birth to jack and all i cant help but wonder whens the day i'll have her kind of happiness. also reading about xiaxue's recent engagement. AGAIN, cant help but wonder.

not sure when he'll pop the question or if he's ever gonna. and i think i'm thinking about it too much. its beginning to show. cause i'll 'bug' him about it. and i dont even know if its as important to him as it is for me. and really, we havent been together that long but still it feels like it y'kno.

anyway i dont want to write or think into it too much lest it ruins what i've already got. cant help the fact that i'm greedy can i?

and to be frankly honest, right now it doesnt feel like its going to happen. cause jonny's really... i dont know. and there's also the question of whether he really is the one for me. i believe that there's this special one that you WILL be with even if you havent met him yet. and you can meet him when you least expect it.

well right now, its just a hope - like i hope he's the one. am kind of the person that needs reassurance before i do anything. like i have to be sure that its true or it will definitely succeed before i go into it. and if it doesnt go my way.. you'd better run.

so anyway, meet jack smith :) loran's newborn baby boy. according to jonny, i'm an aunt now. yay :DD

thats momma Loran

well thats all i'm thinking about now.

xoxo

Christmas morning.

2009-12-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

telephone.

2009-12-24T22:06:00.004+08:00

so i'm back. missed me? well i keep this one real short as a video update will be coming to y'all in a couple of days :) look out for that!

other than that, i'm great. just down with the flu on christmas eve when i'm supposed to be out having fun. lol

how are you doing this fine day?

xoxo

haha just some picture i drew at this restaurant down at hillcrest that allows us to draw while eating and then if its nice they get put up on the wall. mine did. smiles for sarah!

hannah forced me to write that i was year 5. makes it look like some 10 year old drew it. come on. its cute lookin aint it.

check it out homos

2009-12-23T00:48:00.003+08:00

www.amazing-grace08.livejournal.com

Waking Up In Vegas.

2009-11-05T18:41:00.012+08:00

i'm so sorry for neglecting you.

its been real busy lately with the exams coming up.

so just a real fast update because the internet here is INCREDIBLY SLOW. like its not even funny.

signing out from brisbane,

xoxo

p.s. sorry there arent any captions on the pictures. blogger's not loving me today. possibly cause i've left it to die for so long.

i said i was sorry you fruitloop!

idiots.

well. comment it you need captions :)

Avalanche.

2009-10-04T16:03:00.004+08:00

ahaha i'm alive.

whats crackalackin' y'all? :D

australia's really not as glamorous as you think it might be. school's great.

well i had some issues the first week with the retarded homestay host. but now since i've moved out, its been good. those bastards owe me money cause i paid rent already but moved out earlier. idiots.

anyway, i have the joy of janey joining me here. and the first few days were a lil rough. but towards the end, it was fine as hell :)

xoxo

breathe.

2009-09-09T17:37:00.000+08:00

probably my last post from singapore.
i leave on the 16th September.
here are the flight details in case you wanna send me off :)
2125. QF 52. Terminal 1
all my love

Times That Last Forever.

2009-09-01T08:34:00.001+08:00

sent Chris and Martin off at the airport the other day.

didnt want to let them go but what choice did i have eh.

one of the greatest moments here in singapore having them around. the days we hung out felt like they could just go on forever. pillow fights, name calling.. all of that.

well it has all come to an end now. and thats life.

Chris was saying - dont be sad that its over, be happy that it happened.

THANK YOU CHRIS. cause that makes me feel just soooo much better.

i really do miss them a whole lot. and i thought i'd be fine the next day. lol i was worse.

janey's night out :)

love you dearly.

xoxo

Here Comes Goodbye.

2009-08-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

not used to how things are
you just sit here thinking you'll never go far
on and on, it never changes
trying harder each time, you fall into pieces

wondering where you went wrong
knowing that failure has been here all along
held on to the hope of something real
and then you remembered
lifes not a fairytale

how did it end up like this
you say, feeling something's amiss
chained down by emotions
you linger on with devotion

you saw it coming yet ignorant, you wanted to be
now open your eyes, take a good look and see
on the verge of walking away
you tell yourself. its just another day.

Bless the Broken Road.

2009-08-24T21:05:00.004+08:00

the weekend was just the worst.
Barak's momma died. and just after hearing about that. my dad tells me that his cardiologist died.
Both from cancer and both were awesome beings.
it just makes me wonder why does god let such things happen to good people and not do anything about it.
my pastor says its because he looks to eternity more than the now. so they're in a better place.
i guess he's right.

i'll always remember you x

Supernova.

2009-08-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

haha just thought i'd post my vlog on here instead :)

Fearless.

2009-08-05T10:34:00.002+08:00

we all have friends. some good some bad. and some you just dont know where to place.

sharing secrets in good faith that they wont tell anyone else. but you forgot something - even faith can be betrayed.

judgements are passed when they know nothing at all. gossips come and go but the hurt stays forever.

something must be seriously wrong if we continue being quiet. afraid of hurting them when all they do is slice the every breathe we take.

its weird how they dont even know what they're doing.

shallow.

there is no point anymore. move on.

worth is what they lack and they never had it

boasting and pridefulness, it never stops.

irritating, it truly is.

we have to stand up for ourselves and just push them away

it just aint healthy.

xoxo

Letter Day.

2009-08-04T00:17:00.001+08:00

a cover is on its way. look out for it :)

xoxo

The Technicolor Phase.

2009-07-30T13:38:00.002+08:00

everyone's leaving :(
went for Marcus' farewell party yesterday. it was the sex! lol
brace yourselves for a shitload of pictures :D
thank you james for tagging along with me x

Macus and I :]

and now i just dump.

BLADDERED

you.

xoxo
signing off as mrs smith.

Hello Seattle.

2009-07-19T17:29:00.002+08:00

never have i had to many things crash onto me at once.

i shall just tell you about today. i recently made a contract with ewineasia to help them promote their wine. and due to some bad unforeseen circumstances that happened these few days, i was unable to make my time slot for today. my parents wanted me to go to church rather than work. thing is, i told them that i had to work cause i already gave Bruno my word that i'll work. but everything has been so screwed up that i couldnt not go to church. so i had to go. and Aunty Susy had to cover for me in the morning.

i feel really bad honestly but i'm just caught in the middle.

and so after church, i went to the booth just to check on how they were holding up and whether they needed my break. and Laurent just like says "what are you doing here." and he went on and on and on basically proving how much inconvenienced i caused.

tell me something i dont know. jesus.

and so yeh i tried to explain myself but they were just apathetic. so in the end he was like "you can go." and i just couldnt be assed. and i was like "fine. whatever."

and then i call ryan and i was crying cause here i am trying to help the little bit i can. and i just get brushed off like that. and he passes the phone to Aunty Susy. and she scolds me. kinda. like everything is basically completely and totally my fault.

god. give me a break. its not like i dont have enough problems on my hands already.

anyhoo, i've pretty much cried until i'm left without tears. i didnt cry because they brushed me off. its more complicated than that. and i'm not going to go into detail.

but after thinking about it properly, i'm glad i did right by my parents. it has more return, compared to crummy pay.

done with the wine business.

xoxo

caught in the middle.

dead.

2009-07-17T19:58:00.001+08:00

i'm dead. i overspent and now i have to pay the consequences cause my mother wants to update my bank account. and she's gonna go crazy once she updates it.

goodbyee. x

No Sacrifice, No Victory.

2009-07-14T21:42:00.002+08:00

by the way for all those that dont know yet. i got a new piercing pretty long ago now. but here it is :)

anyhoo. today was rather mellow. chilled at Jack's place in the afternoon.

want sex?

went shopping in the evening and met jane after and went home. now i'm off to write my baby a letter :]

xoxo

utterly in love with transformers. such a kid.

fuck.

2009-07-13T08:15:00.002+08:00

i dont get it. how is coming home after your curfew a bad thing? why do my parents get SOO fucking uptight about it. i dont think its that big of a deal if you ask me.

you know parents always give you a time to be back home and what they're really doing is setting themselves up for disappointment and at the same time grounding you and getting mad for no reason. when all of it could just have been avoided if you guys could just cut me some slack. instead of me having to be good and composed all day. fuck.

they dont understand the effects of the child when the child forces herself not to screw up anymore. but when in fact, she doesnt. but due to the restrictions and sensitivity of her parents, she WILL and ALWAYS screw up. no matter what.

its not that she intended to. the whole situation is just set up that way. sureee. you can say "oh she wouldnt be in trouble if she just came home one time" OR instead why not say this "she wouldnt be in trouble if it werent for the curfew."

and you say "oh its for your safety"

and i say "do i look like i've got a scratch on me"

i think parents should all just go take a chill pill. apparently i broke my dad's heart just because i didnt come back on time. WHAT IS THAT. how can you fucking break someone's heart by coming home late. so i didnt keep my promise but i really tried. why cant they look at it from that point of view. i dont get it. seriously.

why are parents all so afraid of giving their children full freedom. its like knowing that i'll be coming home late but at least i'm COMING HOME = there's no need to worry. isnt it.

like i said before. expectations suck.

oh my sister tells me now that i broke my dad's heart cause i was disobedient.

what the fuck is wrong with this fucking world.

fuck. give me back my knife.

All We'd Ever Need.

2009-07-12T09:23:00.004+08:00

hiya vii <3

remember you promised not to tell

so jonny got into some trouble with the police for protecting a lass who was being thrashed up. and he didnt tell me what exactly happened in the beginning so i was like jonny! why'd you do that.. oops :]

well its not that i concluded he purposely got into a fight but i figured he had his reasons. and after jonnyboy told me what happened he was like see and you doubted me there thinking i'd got myself into trouble. lol. so completely untrue. well, a lil :P but who's keeping track?

anyhoo, i'm just glad he's alright. kinda. i think he might have broke his hand slammin' that lad's face. such a hard face, empty skull.

today is going to be awesome unless my folks decided to keep calling me... again.

oh and that's Trae's new girlfriend.

i am sorry but my babyboy just owns. yes i know thats not me in the picture but someday it'll be :)

xoxo

alive for me :]

One Day You Will.

2009-07-11T00:03:00.004+08:00

we went to Chris' apartment the other day and they had to work and left the place to us :)

so we went raiding. lol

martin's jackets.

Chris' chinese robes or something

Also, i've been thinking about my future these few days and as time goes by, i realize how much more

certain i am that i wanna be with Jonny. somehow it gets clearer and then i confuse myself by saying its

too far-fetched of a plan now. but dreams do come true dont they?

it looks so perfect.

xoxo

reassure me again.

Will You Be There.

2009-07-09T08:26:00.003+08:00

because loser blogger refuses to let me upload pictures i have no choice but to use some external photo uploader. and i have chosen Phlook :)

so here are the overdued pictures.

xoxo

life missing you.

annoyed.

2009-07-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

this is so annoying. why cant i upload pictures here anymore?

help me :(

%$#@!

2009-07-02T08:13:00.002+08:00

i just hate everything right now.

like i just want to fuckin kill anything or anyone i see. just like slice them all into bit and pieces and go on a rampage.

fuck this world. i dont give a shit. everything is just crap and i dont want it.

if only life were how you wanted to live it. with nobody stopping you. no limitations. no boundaries.

why should i live on knowing the world is going to end anyway.

the issue about me is that. if you know me, you'd know i have this "problem" managing my anger. i'm a cutter. so after the last incident, i promised people that i wouldnt do it again. and i havent but i've been keeping all my anger and frustrations in and i've got no ways to let them out. so you can imagine the torment i'm going thru. to the point where i'm on the verge of pulling my hair out. i cant take this anymore.

whats worse is that i'm grounded and i hate being at home.

i NEED to get out.

runaway if i will.

i need a break. but then again so does everyone. but i'm not everyone see. why should i suffer just cause everyone is suffering too. call me selfish. but its our choices that brings sufferings or happiness.

forget it.

where's my ticket to a better place?

Will It Ever.

2009-07-01T20:23:00.004+08:00

grounded.

bored of life.

everything just doesn't feel right.

keep moving forward i guess.

so anyhoo. the other day i realized that throwing insults between jonny and i have stopped. hmmm.. interesting.

what else can i tell you about.. hmm. jonny gets off work 3 hours from now :D

lol. i have to stop eating. i'm putting on the pounds which is dreadful. seriously. what. the hell. sarah! stop eating.

and what the hell. i cant seem to upload 'em pictures onto here. OH WELL.

xoxo

fuck you jan.

Untouched.

2009-06-27T21:20:00.002+08:00

death is all around

some people are afraid

but there just no escape

we'll all soon be dead.

when you cry, i'll cry with you.

when you're sad, i'll frown with you

it's okay you'll be fine

just live on and it'll go by.

souls run.

its us who are left behind

suffering and torment is what we've got

peace and serenity is what death brought.

i know you miss her

but dont shed a tear.

just remember her smiles and giggles

remember that you were her angel

hope you're fine, i love you so

even in the winter cold

she'll be with you, heart and soul

always.

xoxo

i love you so much.

Built To Last.

2009-06-21T00:06:00.005+08:00

just thought i'd post some Attica pictures. it just piles up over a period time. heh.

and procrastination doesnt do me any good either.

karlson! :D

yeh i just dumped it all here. just for your viewing pleasure as always :)

xoxo

i'm not your bitch you two-faced backstabbing slut.

always here.

2009-06-18T21:34:00.002+08:00

frightened, you might be

afraid of what you will see

you keep running, searching for help

but you only feel by yourself

sometimes you forget

this world is filled with hate and regret

the love i have for you will remain

always here, it will stay the same

no doubt, it worries me

thinking about what its all going to be

i feel useless, unable to solve

all the problems you face and dread of

tell me, i will always be here for you

i'll keep silent, faithful and true

really hate seeing you like this

you'll still forever be my Mister Smith :)

strong, i know you are

just grit your teeth and you will go far

i have faith in you

i just know that you will pull thru

life's been shit without your presence

not sure how much longer i can take your absence

i miss you so much its unbelievable

so hurry on back or i will die

cause its only me and you and you and i

waiting till the end of time

xoxo

loving you always

She's My Winona.

2009-06-15T19:23:00.004+08:00

i just got off watching MTV's True Life: i am a compulsive shopper. and its just tragic. if i keep going on like this, i'm going to end up in shit.

this girl, ali, is up to $15,000 in debt and the bank came and like took her furniture out of the house. and i just like freaked out cause these girls featured has absolutely NO cash in their wallets. like 6 dollars maybe.

i've been spending quite a bit these past months and my well is drying up. i can feel it. so God is obviously sending me a message by letting me watch that show. dangflabbit. no more shopping sarah. simple living. i wanna get a bag tho. so maybe instead of LV, i'll get Kate Spade.. HELL NO.

but shit. i really do need a bag. and i really cant spend anymore.

ever wondered where all the money goes and how come it never flows back to us..

janey we're in trouble.

thats my bill for my cards last month.

i would blame ryan for my poorness. cause he owes me a SHITLOAD of money which he doesnt even bother paying me back. like i would have to chase him for it. aint it your responsibility to pay back the person you borrowed from?

this world sucks.

why cant everything just be free for me :( lool

x0x0

stop shopping sarah.

the show.

2009-06-14T17:12:00.004+08:00

alright. so i promised the Singapore Flyer pictures. cant be assed to post them really. its been a crazylicious weekend and i'm still loving the next 2 hours of it before the watchmen arrive.

i'm not sorting or captioning the pictures. its just for your viewing pleasure.

xoxo

i wanna go to the skatepark so bad!

Mary Did You Know.

2009-06-10T01:06:00.003+08:00

one word for today.

: enlightening.

i had my hair done with Jenny today + my pritty nails and after which, met Chris. and we went to the Singapore Flyer.

it was sooo pretty. i'll post the pictures soon. just cant be assed to do it now.

so anyhoo, after the flyer, we went to bars to get some drinks. and then we chilled by the river.

and then.. lol idk.

i also went shopping bitches!

haha spent like 470 at Zara. needed a dress for friday. thats if my dad stops being a bitch and randomly calls me and yells in my face for wasting his time.

he wanted to pick me up today. and i already told him not to wait for me.

but he did.

and cause he did, he says that i have got no respect for his time. LOL

what utter nonsense.

and then he hung up on me.

unbelievable!

alright y'all. its off to bed for me.

pictures coming soon :)

much love.

xoxo

nothing beats the beginning of endless obsessions.

Professor Layton.

2009-06-08T01:05:00.006+08:00

i had my singapore idol audition this morning.

i didnt get in :(

... NOT!

lol its sideways. oh well. and no jonny i did not steal it.

friends i made :)

the lights.. lol

so after i was done with that crap, i went off to church.

lol after church i had no plans until the evening so i thought i'd bug Jan since he so happily ditched me friday.

and then i had plans. YAY :D

we went to watch this german movie. its really good actually.

jan jan jan. what are you doinggg.. heh. he was all like i dont like.... SNAP!

he's actually pretty good-lookin' tho.

okay so after the movie Chris met me at vivo. and off we went.

first stop: The Clinic.

yeh i kno its a blurred picture. just squint.

the UV-drip cocktail which cost like 53 buckeroos.

analysis: The Clinic is amazing. just kinda expensive. no wait. it IS expensive. but seriously fun. and creeeepy on so many different levels. seriouslyyy.

Next stop: Forbidden City- IndoChine

again, yes i kno its blurrry.

there's an ice bar inside. how cool is that. -15 degrees. i almost died.

Chris and I. is it me or am i putting on the pounds!

Next stop: True Heritage Brew for a nice Singapore Sling :)

the Singapore Sling.

this dude in the middle was the live singer for the night and he sang me You're Beautiful-James Blunt. it was soo sweet of him. and he waves to me from inside. heh.

quite the night i would say.

so a total of 3 bars hopped. can we beat that janey? LOL.

xoxo

fuck these ants!

Fame Infamy.

2009-06-06T21:12:00.014+08:00

yesterday was so much fun. get farkin wasted the day before the Singapore Idol auditions.

anyhoo, got an invite to a party down at Attica. free-flow bitches!

before we left

chillin outside Le Nior; was still early.

Ryry got hungry and we went to get sausages and met.. :)

after which - to Attica we go.

cook and andrew

partners in crime

clifford who DJs as well.

my VIP band. or whats left of it.

today, STUTARDED singapore idol

oh my good lord. it was blazin' hot. and i'm telling you i almost died of heat

josiah :)

and i got this; something to take away

guess my outfit i wore. LOL

xoxo

tomorrow. again.

halloween.

2009-06-04T00:51:00.004+08:00

crashin' janeys and boy is it different here. but still really fun cause she makes me happy :)

lol think i pissed jonny off today tho. cause i was all like i wanna talk to ryan. dont wanna talk to you. ahhhh i was just jokin. and so jonny kisses ryan. kinda funny.

before they did their lil somethin' somethin' lol

dude i said sorrry already. how long you gonna stay mad at me for :(

anyhoo, last paper tomorrow - accounting.

oh and today i went to see the counsellor. that was shit. cause she didnt even try helping me in anyway. all she did was to tell me to let the money issue go. fuck that. so i threw in my sarcastic moments.

off to bed with janey :) heh.

xoxo

how do i sleep knowing you're not feeling the same?

Switchblades And Infidelity

2009-06-02T23:24:00.011+08:00

some day it was, today.

family law. more family law. sleep. family law. nds. family law.

cant wait till its all over.

i actually spoke to Trae this morning. was pretty cool actually.

he wanted to talk cause he's leaving for NYC tomorrow morning. so i was like yeh okayyy :)

oh and he bought himself a laptop. at least he's happy.

Trae lying on his pillow. lol

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so next, i've been playing this game on my new best friend now. [thanks jane :) ]

its called Trauma Center. and i reached this level where by i have to operate on 5 idiots in 10 minutes. that would mean like a freggin 2 minutes per person. which is like completely and utterly PSYCHO.

the hell? drop dead bitch. plus, she's giving me the stink eye. UNBELIEVABLE!

just how the game looks like in case you were interested.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

moving on.

change of hairstyle, sí?

*******************************************************************

meet my other new bestfriend

his name is Bob the shark. lovely aint he. lol its really just Jonny. but i tell myself its not :]

talking about Jonny. OH MY LORD. like i cant believe i'm going to put this here. it freaks the hell out of me.

fuck you. stupid shit. the mask not you.

but yeh see that bloody mask [bloody, not cause its red]. that ass kept putting it on even tho like i told him that it freaked me out. gawd. grow a brain. i obviously dont want to see it cause of some childhood psyche-outs.

yuck. it still freaks me out and i'm putting it on here just to show you guys.

who agrees with me? its one creeepy looking thang. disgusting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on a brighter note:

after my exams, i plan to go lightning hunting. just sit down somewhere in the late night and wait with my camera ready. we'll see how it goes. if this person who took this picture can do it, i'm sure i can too.

its real. not photoshop-ed. i googled "real lightning" hehe.

wish me luck tomorrow.

OH and i'm crashing Janey's tomorrow. what fun we'll be having :]

xoxo

2 more days.

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World.

2009-05-31T23:37:00.007+08:00

i know i know. i'm s'posed to be studying. shut up already. i'm working on it eh.

anyhoo. i spent the evening with JJ today :D

we chilled at holland v and i saw NOORA! gotta catch up with her soooooonn

this time we only stuck to one bar. didnt have much for the fact that i cant be having a hangover while i do my paper tomorrow.

i decided to try using Photobooth to take pictures.

... yeh. it didnt work out.

so bobbi, my camera, went to work :)

mi mejor amigo

we counted. friends for 10 years now :)

lights of the night.

just ONE more thing...

ONE.

BLACKMAIL :D

naa i'm kidding. how cute.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

talking to jonny today was kinda funny cause my pops was sleeping on my bed. and so i didnt dare to talk to loud lest i woke him up and he realizes that i'm not studying. heh.

one more week sarah one more week. just do what you gotta do.

When breathing just passes the time

Until we all just get old and die

Now talking's just a waste of breath

And living's just a waste of death

And why put a new address on the same old loneliness

And this is you and me and me and you until we've got nothing left

xoxo

clinging on to forever.

this was intentionally left blank.

2009-05-31T17:00:00.001+08:00

bad news bad news.

my account crashed on me. and my study notes are in there! now how the hell am i going to study for my test tomorroww! HOW?!

sweet nibblets.

xoxo

i hate pigeons

Skyway Avenue.

2009-05-31T07:43:00.004+08:00

there are a lot of things that happen in the world.

and i just found out that my friend, Chelsea, who went back to UK last year

... got preggy.

pritty cool eh?

and now she's a momma! and what am i? looool.

she's only 17 y'kno. pregnancy puts on the years oh boyy..

i want my own family too :(

sometimes some things that happen just make you think about what you really want in life and certain things that dont seem fairly possible at this moment in time.

i am sooo happy for you Chels. i know you'll pull thru and make a fantastic momma :) x

xoxo

i want my baby.. lol

[photos courtesy of Chelsea*]

Voice of Truth.

2009-05-30T07:28:00.005+08:00

i sit and wait everyday

hoping to catch a glimpse of you

i see the time passing slowly

thinking if my wish would come true

there isnt a day that goes by

without you in my mind

clinging on to my desire

i think of you and i am inspired

when i don't speak to you

it feels like forever

no doubt i miss you

but my love for you starts growing bigger

never thought i'd reach this road

when i first met you

you seemed strangely odd

always making fun of me, you are

amazing how we got this far

you never cease to amaze me

my retarded minion , you'll always be

cracking me up over and over again

sometimes you drive me insane

even tho you annoy me ever so often

i look pass that and tell myself you're just a moron

but you know i'm just kidding

with you around, its so much more exciting

i love you for who you are

dont matter you're such a retard

you make me smile and laugh

and sometimes even barf

but you're still fine

you blow my mind

it aint not crime

lets go eat lime

after saying all that

one thing's for sure

that i think you're awesome

and you were just meant for one person.

me.

xoxo

the last week.

Once Upon A December.

2009-05-29T09:52:00.003+08:00

this is for Janey pie, Vivi darlin' and Shirlyn sweetie.

Mad.

2009-05-28T23:43:00.003+08:00

after countless times of trying and trying and trying to come up with the best cover i finally gave up and came to the acceptance that i cant do RnB songs :(

whyyyyyyyyyyyy.

well whatevv. you be the judge. but i dont wanna know.

its honesty one of the worst covers i've ever did. i cant reach that high of a key.

at least i tried :) yay me!

xoxo

proper posting to come...

Miss Independent.

2009-05-27T09:39:00.002+08:00

oh my lord.. i'm trying to do this cover but its just so hardddddd.

but i'm working on it!

so coming sooooon y'all :)

xoxo

freaky how some names share a common trait

Gimme That.

2009-05-26T10:45:00.003+08:00

everything's pretty awesome right now.

i'll be done with school in 2 weeks i hope :]

i'm talking to Trae now and its just not the same. its like everything between us died and now its just empty conversation. no like seriously - empty.

Jonny makes me laugh but he's soo annoying tho. but thats fun. SOMETIMES.

...idiot.

about my dog.

i wont be getting Chloe for the fact that i'll be leaving soon and it wouldnt be fair to the poor thing making her travel and being quarantined once she reaches aussieland. i thought i would just adopt one from RSPCA when i reach there.

in case you wanted to know who Chloe is.

she's the one on top. i think

i really wanted her tho. but i cant because it might just cost me too much money. and the thing about this is that the dog i'm going to get is MINE. so my dad was like "if your credit card bill comes and i see you've spent it on your dog. CUT!"

so i was like telling my dad. i'll use my allowance on my dog and use the card for food. then there's NO WAY he can cut it. lool

one more thing.

jonny's weird

he's oh so queer

he looks like a deer

and enjoys his beer.

i think you know

that he's a hoe

he hates me now

without a doubt.

he's gonna try to out-rhyme me

cause he cant stand losing

to sarah the princessey

alright i'm done.

dont out-do me pumpkin.

aint gonna work

xoxo

ily.

What If.

2009-05-25T22:53:00.006+08:00

went to the art museum the other day.

ahaha dont tell anyone but this shot is illegal.

way to go sarah :D

and once we couldnt be bother with anymore boring old art pieces... i wonder where we went.

harry's :) again. good grief jane!

and we went to get more. well fine. I went to get more.. gees.

how calculative are you.

lets take a closer look eh?

Wala- Wala

shame on you.. underage drinking. golly.

and here we have robin poking spots on his burnt face LOL

xoxo

no one can tell us we're wrong

Jesses Girl.

2009-05-25T06:45:00.002+08:00

day by day, i wish for things to slowly happen

but that backfires with a couple of words.

running away from the fear of rejection

i turn away, hoping to find attraction.

na it wont happen.

because i saw it wrong

and this time i think its gone.

forget what i said before

live life and get more

bags shoes clothes

whatever makes me happy

i kno spending's kinda deadly.

_____________________________________________

i'm still kinda ticked off. because what if you liked a guy yeh, and he didnt like you back. and somewhere deeep down inside you hoped that he did but in the end the truth is he doesnt. what would you do then.

xoxo

wounded and pissed.

Rehab.

2009-05-23T00:18:00.009+08:00

a pretty awesome night :)

begining with harry's

how cool is that?

janey and i

#1: SCORE!

...and the night starts to fall.

jane being a moron.

the blue light... :D

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#2: SCORE!...again. yay us!

b-52

doooonnnnnneeeeee!

and then like the quickie [or also known as the quickfuck.]

the love potion

the bar.

adris?, laurent, janey and me :D

MICHAEL!!! he's such a cutie. yes he is

went to meet robin :)

how cute is he?

what a wonderful wonderful night :)

xoxo

almost.

All Night Long.

2009-05-21T23:08:00.005+08:00

i told you Kris would win. I TOLD YA. he's cute.. c'mon.

dangflabbit. i got school tomorrrrrow. why. why. why.

oh anyway, i got accepted into the University of Queensland

6 years y'all. but dont be scurred. you're not getting rid of me that quick just yet. i still have to accept the offer.

and it really doesnt help when all my lovelies are sad cause i'll be leaving.

dude whats the deal?

Kris won.

do i need to say more.

xoxo

KISS is awesome.

broken strings.

2009-05-20T22:38:00.004+08:00

it's officially over with trae. yes. i'm sad too.

its all so surreal y'kno?

well there's this guy from work. he's called Fasle. no doubt he likes me or he thinks i'm cute and i like him but he's just not potential boyfriend material. no no no.

and i was talking to my buddy jonny the other day. and he kept like taking snapshots of me being unglam. hereee.. for your pleasure. gawdd.

stupid jonny. i was like putting on my contact lenses for him to see. for fun y'kno

so i took an unglam shot of him :D

well thats jonny, more normal lookin. guess which?

jonny jonny jonny jonny jonnny jonnny. yeh he's so precious to me.

yeh thats all. i would actually have more pictures cause i went to holland v with ryry, robin and airi tonight but i didnt have my camera. was really fun tho.

next time :]

i'm just really beat today. and some creepy guy from work asked me out on a date. and i was just like "oh i'm with someone."

dont you just love white lies

xoxo

forever never.

Live Your Life.

2009-05-15T20:35:00.003+08:00

so i sent SAM NAIL a message. hopefully its big and clear enough to be read.

i'm moving on. with someone new or not, thats besides the point.

dont want to think of this whole ordeal as a waste. it was fun and great while it lasted. but nothing last forever does it.

tears are still kept inside and i'm not going to let it out. aint all that worth it i feel. no point crying is there? just move on.

xoxo

i remain speechless about it all.

It's About Love.

2009-05-15T01:52:00.003+08:00

whats gone is gone for good.

you cant make it last

even if you wanted too.

no doubt my heart aches

but i will not be afraid

cause i know there's someone better out there

waiting for a love we can share.

everything takes time to heal

greater power, determination and will

overcoming everything and moving on

you'll soon realize opportunities are about to be born.

hold tight onto it, never let it go

once you find the way, you just follow the flow.

not sure what i'm doing anymore

just hope it wont lead to my downfall

cause i can be real silly sometimes

but then again, the life is mine

dont want to mess it up and regret

knowing that in the end, nothing was met.

finding it so hard to let go

can't bring myself to do so

but there's someone else now.

who turns my frown upside-down

moved on quick you might say

i see no other way.

just went against the grain.

it was a feeling i cant explain

and it felt like harmony

just gotta wait and see.

xoxo

thats what i get for falling in love

do not cry.

2009-05-12T01:52:00.004+08:00

i think trae just dumped me.

heres some things he wrote:

Okay you know the girl Sam that I went to prom with? Well her and a few other people I like have asked me out and I've told them all that I would think about it! I honestly really like you but as everybody keeps f-ing telling me that you're 3000 miles away and I keep shutting them down but I'm going through some tough shit and I really need somebody to talk to! And its really freaking hard because you're so busy and you can never talk to me anyways!

screw sam. shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart terd and twat.

i have a life bitch. and i go to work solely to get money for my trip to go see your shitface.

Okay, I'm hoping that I'm right about this!!! Here Goes, I feel like we have both found somebody we really like and I'm think taht you have the same feeling. I don't know what to do because I really want you to be happy too, cuz I have this strange feeling that you might have somebody on your mind and I think you should have the right to be with that person and honestly If this does happen like that I will still talk to you as if we were best friends and I would still love to meet this summer:)

YOU'RE WRONG! there's no one else you fuckhead.

I hope you'll find this message with trust in me and I hope you have somebody on your mind that you can be with at your home and at your school and whenever you want to be with him and not just a voice behind the screen and I have wished that we could be together but the points just don't add up and I wish to be best friends after this so please find the good in this message and I love you and hope you have somebody you can introduce me to him in the near future! :)

THERE'S NO ONE ELSE FOR FUCK SAKE! bull bull bull bull bull bulllll BUUULLLLL

he's just making false excuses for me. like its my fault. best friends my ass.

i'm so pissed. and yes i'm on the verge of tears.

like i've done tons of shit for him. and it ends like this. FABULOUS!

okay bitterness over.

fuck you.

i guess not.

life's a bitch.

Strong.

2009-05-10T21:43:00.011+08:00

the trip up to malaysia this time was a blast. kinda.

i got 36/40 for my placement test in math which was really quite an astounding piece of news for me.

and the pictures start here...

hannah and i on the floor above the lobby. great view i must say.

not that you can see. lol.

the foyer of all the ballrooms. it sooo pretty.

the lounge.

apparently, sunway is one of...

the swimming pool.
ain't that the prettiest bow you've seen? :)
Euphoria by MOSjust a nice random work of art.

now to enlighten you with pictures of us :D

Zat bought this for us :] real yummy stuff.
zat and han.

serious FE [i.e fashion emergency]

pops at breakfast.

shots at the pool.

hannah.. what are you doing??
nobody knows what she's trying to do. lool

there we go. a proper picture.

zat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

mustn't forget Alfofo.. aww cutie.

zat and i switched one shoe. ahaha get a wax!

my orange that hannah peeled.

the speed my dad was driving at.

well, thats all i have for you :)

xoxo

cant wait for the next trip.

Keep You Much Longer.

2009-05-07T18:55:00.006+08:00

i dont know where i am anymore. everything's just all going so fast and i feel like i cant keep up and i'm sooo tired that i dont try.

today's entry shall be interesting for all you interested in my better half :)

so recently, he went to his senior prom. but i am stuck here.. so who did he go with? i wonder...

she's called Sam Nail

tsk tsk. get your hands off my man. ...byatch.

lol i'm kidding. its cool.

Trae's kinda short eh?

ahaha my smurf.

Trae & Sam. they look cute no?

moving away from the prom.

i shall tell you a lil' bout my other half.

teegan, step-dad, trae, mom, tylin.

2006:

Trae's soo small :)

so thats about all i have to share with you about trae.

how about you?

xoxo

the greatest 7 months of my life.

Dont Cry for Pain.rnn

2009-05-03T09:06:00.004+08:00

today's entry is going to be pretty long.

there are some things i have to talk about. so brace yourselves!

i'll start with thursday:

i had to work on thursday yeh and it was pretty fun but then things got super crazy at the later part. psycho on SOO many levels.

apparently, one of the managers fancies me. and before that i was thinking, wow i have a pretty cool work-lationship with all the managers. [CLIMB CLIMB CLIMB]

like i guess i'm the only cheap laborer who talks to them like they're my friends.

for example, this manager, Barry, was complaining that he was tired and shit. so i was like "you're a dude. suck it up." and he was like "suck it up? nobody ever talks to me that way." and so i laughed and walked away. but he wasnt angry i think. who knows.. lool.

okay so about the manager fancying me. lets just say i now know how work place scandals are like. creeeeeepy i swear. i could barely sleep that night. so i'm telling you now do not bring it up if you see me. i will send you to your grave.

forget friday. sucked. served a wedding function, seeing other people get married and me still unwedded. pffft. and i wanted to get out after work but my parents decide that nooooo i want her to go home. PFFFFT. get lost friday no one wants you.

...freak.

YESTERDAY :)

Zat went back to malaysia already. was fantastic having him here. really fun.

went to coffee club in the afternoon and i was trying to get my mosaic for Understanding Art. and then i thought about the idea of using pictures to create another picture.

i'm still figuring out how to get this done.

had a banana hazelnut latte. wasnt too bad.

hear me hear me! i joined singapore idol for the frivolity of it.

thought i'd take a snap at it.

so thats pretty much the end of what i have to say.

xoxo

having fun at prom trae?

NAT GEO.

2009-04-27T00:29:00.004+08:00

aww. today was awesome. i really needed it.

had dinner with JJ. and in case y'all dont know who he is, he's my best friend. we've been friends for 10 years now. good times.. good times.

the coolest thing i thought was that even tho we havent seen each other for pretty long, we still have things to talk about.

he's great.

so after dinner, we went bar hopping. which was really fun. no heavy drinking cause we both got school the following day. hangovers not allowed.

credits go to JANE. thanks for lending me your camera while mine's in surgery :) lave you x

so after church i went over to janey's place to chill cause i had buckets of time to kill.

beary :D jane thinks i'm nuts. ask her why.

the first bar of the night.

totally meant to be besties dont you think?

next stop: harry's

well, thats all the pictures for the night :)

============================================================

here's a lil something special for y'all to see

ME, 4 years ago.

bet you aint seen nothing like this!

sar-zilla! watch out bitches.

xoxo

cant wait till next weekend.

Free.

2009-04-25T22:45:00.002+08:00

insecurity is a painful thing.

in my opinion, worse than anger; worse than sadness.

just sitting down worrying if he'll ever leave your side.

whether you can get over worrying tonight

about the undetermined future.

"what if-s" forever filling your head.

there's just no end to it.

no doubt he reassures you of his love

but there's no stopping insecurity from overwhelming you.

you just cant help but worry.

being assured that he loves you dearly

so why do you fear that he might leave.

terrified, you fail to breathe.

trust that everything you've done to this point is more than sufficient.

everything that you've given up,

everything that you've become,

and everything that you're going to be

is good enough for him.

it wont get easier

just remember why you loved him in the first place.

come what may,

you still love Trae.

xoxo

i've got pretty nails.. do you?

Comatose.

2009-04-23T19:54:00.006+08:00

sometimes when one thing goes wrong, everything else seems to go down with it.

right now, i just feel done for. like whatever that i have done has just gone down the drain.

YES I AM JEALOUS.

lol. i'm just a girl.

she is soo pretty. and i am sooo dead.

i think you can click to enlarge.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COMPARE! sweet nibblets. i'm far off.

shiiiiit. what am i suppose to do!

xoxo

help me.

the man.

2009-04-22T11:06:00.003+08:00

Lesson #101:

Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win.

Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time!

because the world is run by the Man.

The Man, oh, you don't know the Man? He's everywhere.

In the White House... down the hall... your MOM?

She's the Man.

And the Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank!

And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man.

It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV!

So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul.

So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!

Jai Ho!

2009-04-19T19:51:00.005+08:00

when you are late, you waste other people's time.

news! news!

i am engaged :) well, informally. but still i'm still rather happy.

lol get real sarah.

still tho, think about it. i'm 18 and 'engaged'. kinda cool yeh?

i think so too.

ahaha naa. its not true. just for fun. FOR NOW! xP

*sarah: :