it's close to the worse day of my life

my baby Oatty died. well, he's not actually a baby. more like a grandpops. haha.. he's old and probably it was the time to go. he was 6, going on to 7, years. i don't want to tell you the whole story because i'll cry again. like the other day, i was gonna tell my friend the whole story and i was on the verge of crying again. so i didn't continue the story and i just stopped it halfway, carrying onto other things.
but i'm really and absolutely grateful to him for making me feel more satisfied at the moment in time. but after that, my day begun to hang low, again.
as for now, i'm doing better. i still see the cage and i tell myself," I could have stopped it."
somehow, i knew he was gonna die that day. don't ask me how. i just did. and worst of all, i did nothing to stop it. Or maybe it could not be stopped. i don't know.
and after oatty died, i just felt like the whole world was just against me. no one knew how i was feeling. it was messed up. but i had to get back up onto my feet and live on. so i concentrated on my skating. i landed my flip, well slightly. =P and PERFECTED my 3-turn.. yay me!

daddy's coming home today. my buddy's gonna thrash him at pool. haha.. my old man cant wait to play against my friend. haha.. it'll definitely be interesting. so i'll see how it goes and let ya'll know.
keep it real.

i love this. OUR GREATEST FEAR

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
...
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love

i knew it would be interesting.

HAHA.. today i went out with my buddies from primary school. i had a helluva time with them.. i dont wanna elaborate much because some things are really personal. and i dont wish to share it with the world.
anyhoo, we went to watch the grudge 2. wen's fancy idea. it was SOOOOO... not scary.
please, it was so hilarious that i almost pee-ed in my pants.. [kiddin']
but seriously, i wasnt scared one bit. you should watch it if you wanna kill time or just catch a sucky horror flick. it'll knock the shit out your butt!
it was great.
that's all i'm gonna tell you about. the rest of the stuff that happened cannot be posted. haha.. people will start kicking my ass..
so to save me from the misery, i shall not write about it.
it stays in my noggin'.

keep it real.