hello mollies.

hello Georgia molly, molly C and molly rae.. i hate my drama juniors. they are a bunch of crap. they suck and the fatty sucks even more.
i love the mollies. i would write a song about the mollies. but i cant sing and write at the same time. i just finished watching emo elmo on you tube. it's so emo-ish. go to youtube. and search for "tickle me emo".. watch it.. it's very emo.... EMO.
there you go.
love you.

thanks.

thanks for taking the one thing that meant the world to me.
thanks for taking him away for your own pleasure.
thanks for making me feel like fuck right now.
thanks for showing me your hoochie self.
thanks for taking pleasure in my misery.
thanks for judging me.
thank you for every thing, motherfucker.
btw, in case some of you mistake "motherfucker" as me calling my mother a fucker, it's not. fuck. "motherfucker" refers to............ fuck. you figure it out. please make sure you got the correct message and not some fucked up crap shit message that you assume is true. if you did, fuck you.

what am i gonna do with this?

well, i feel a lil' disappointed because i think my wanted valentine rejected me..wdh.. well, i've got many options but i wanted that one. guess i'll have to settle for someone that beneath me. damn. i'm pretty bummed out.. i mean, i could have sworn that he'll say yes or okay.. but i think it was a "no". he didnt say a direct no.. but i think you gotta read between the lines. if you be a "yes" too.. ya never know.. haha!
well, today was the 1st day of school. nothing much happened. Jerry's hair grew back, almost to normal. while his weird fried, CW, shaved it off.. -.- what irony..
well, my chem teacher got transferred to another school. so my chem teacher now is- miss wassan. =\ help.. but she might be a good teacher.. i'm not sure. will see tomorrow. i've got chem class..
today, i had to sit for an entrance test for Additional math. but really, i dont see the point in taking that test. i'm NOT gonna drop that subject or any subject at that matter.
oh, and i walked pass like 3 table just to go say "hi" to theodore.. haha. he's so TAN! and TALL! wow... but i'm not surprised. it has always been like that..

what did the R.E.C.S do today?
well, we planned our sweet sixteen party which will be held at the end of the year. i will not go into much detail as for now. but invitations will be sent out soon enough. we want it to be really exclusive. so the attire is FORMAL! wee.. nice.
Charr had to dye her hair back. she's pretty smart though. haha.. she dyed it Blue-Black. so when it's in the sun, it'll look blue. i havent seen it turn blue yet. but i'll let you know once i do.

that's all for now.. i need to chat with some IMPORTANT people in my life.. xD

lots of love,
Ephesians Tan Sarah.

i could actually be the luckiest girl on earth.

I've always wanted a younger brother.. and now, i DO have a younger bro.
and it's not what you might think. some random guy that I've known not to long ago?
haha.. yeah riiiiiight. FAR FROM IT. on the contrary, i've known him almost all my life. well actually, ALL MY LIFE! better believe it. =D we recently discovered the relationship that we once had before and realised that our friendship is more than what we thought it was. according to my mom, we used to spent weekends at his place. and that his grandmother made AWESOME food! delicious stuff.. but don't ask me about that. i wouldn't have remembered.
Anyway, the relationship that we had with him was really no different from like cousins and siblings. =P and it works fine because we have the same surname.. beat that.
and you know losers always put the "god-" in front.. like "OHhh, ThaT iSh Mii gOd-BrotHerR woRrhxxxx"
WAHAHAHHAHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHA!! i'm bloody mean...
and even so, those kind of "god-brothers/sisters" never actually last.. it's so weird and at one time, you can have like, what, 10?! OH, GET REAL!!
anyhoo, my bro and i, there's no "awkward-cy" there because i think the past covered us. i mean, it's really amazing.. i've got a brother. not a brother-in-law or GOD-brother -.- but a BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER.. =P
our momma's are tight.. so our relationship will never die unless our moms suddenly hate each other or something [ never gonna happen, stop wishing ]..
i went out with JJ and friends yesterday. it was fun. really enjoyed it.. well, not really, really. but it was fun. we didnt even do anything after the movie. we watched deja vu.. it was REALLY weird.. kept going back and forth. deja vu only happened at the end of the show.
now's the season finale of Ghost Whisperer.

-later.

it's close to the worse day of my life

my baby Oatty died. well, he's not actually a baby. more like a grandpops. haha.. he's old and probably it was the time to go. he was 6, going on to 7, years. i don't want to tell you the whole story because i'll cry again. like the other day, i was gonna tell my friend the whole story and i was on the verge of crying again. so i didn't continue the story and i just stopped it halfway, carrying onto other things.
but i'm really and absolutely grateful to him for making me feel more satisfied at the moment in time. but after that, my day begun to hang low, again.
as for now, i'm doing better. i still see the cage and i tell myself," I could have stopped it."
somehow, i knew he was gonna die that day. don't ask me how. i just did. and worst of all, i did nothing to stop it. Or maybe it could not be stopped. i don't know.
and after oatty died, i just felt like the whole world was just against me. no one knew how i was feeling. it was messed up. but i had to get back up onto my feet and live on. so i concentrated on my skating. i landed my flip, well slightly. =P and PERFECTED my 3-turn.. yay me!

daddy's coming home today. my buddy's gonna thrash him at pool. haha.. my old man cant wait to play against my friend. haha.. it'll definitely be interesting. so i'll see how it goes and let ya'll know.
keep it real.

i love this. OUR GREATEST FEAR

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
...
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love

i knew it would be interesting.

HAHA.. today i went out with my buddies from primary school. i had a helluva time with them.. i dont wanna elaborate much because some things are really personal. and i dont wish to share it with the world.
anyhoo, we went to watch the grudge 2. wen's fancy idea. it was SOOOOO... not scary.
please, it was so hilarious that i almost pee-ed in my pants.. [kiddin']
but seriously, i wasnt scared one bit. you should watch it if you wanna kill time or just catch a sucky horror flick. it'll knock the shit out your butt!
it was great.
that's all i'm gonna tell you about. the rest of the stuff that happened cannot be posted. haha.. people will start kicking my ass..
so to save me from the misery, i shall not write about it.
it stays in my noggin'.

keep it real.

leave me alone

i have never felt more defeated in my life.
first this morning, B.lim [the disipline mistress], was standing at the area where all the student walk in from. she was doing uniform check up. and of all the days, she caught my for wearing the wrong coloured bra. and she was all like, " give me 3 good reasons why i should let you in?"
here are my 3 reasons! 1st, you dont own the school. 2nd, i bet you're like wearing a black, strapless bra. and 3rd, why are you looking at my boobs?! =\ haha..
Well anyway, so she asked me to call my mom to bring me the right coloured bra. and i said, " i'm sorry but that is not possible."
you see, i just patched things back with my mom. i would go to the extend of killing myself to mantain the peace with her. so i refused to call my mom and i told B.lim that it's either she let me go or just send me home and i will change.
oh, and by the way, i was already running late for my prep for debate.
so whatever, B.lim then told me, "don't quarell with me just because you're a debator." haha.. hey, i wasn't quarelling with her.
so she called my mom and told her that i had to go home.. blah blah blah. all the nonsense.
i went back. and on my way out, YZ was puzzled why i was leaving school so soon when i arrived only a couple of minutes ago. and i told him the story.

took a cab home. changed. took a cab back. swift and quick. spent 15 bucks on cab in less than an hour, or half an hour even.

so i got back to school. had to report to B.lim and went to collect my blazer. i went up to the leadership room where we were doing our last minute preparations. then we left at 0945hours.
We took another cab down to SIM(Singapore Institute of Management). we waited for your turn to go for our auditions for the television competition called "The Arena". Jasmine, Renu and I were really stressed so we went off to the girls' room to have some fun. we play a fool among the mirrors. =) it was funny.
anyway, we went to do our auditions and oh boy, we pretty much screwed..
well, it's the truth. we didnt make it.
All of us felt really defeated and well, we all turned silent.

whatever man. it's over anyhow.
my team and i, we're gonna thrash the julia gabriels!

the 411

well, let's see.. where do i start?
1st, my grades. it's bad. really bad.. i know you might hear many people saying this but when i say it, you really have no idea how bad my grades are. dont even try comparing my grades to your 'bad' grades.. seriously. i'm not going to share with you what they are because it's really kinda embarrassing. and it makes me even more depressed.
so MOVING ON!
2nd, there's this pink menace growing in our eco garden. the eco boys have been observing the menace since it was small. but it was so weird. during recess, we went to the eco pond for fun. and then we saw the pink thing. i remembered cheng wei posting something about this pink thing on his blog so we went to check it out.. then renu took something to hit it and the pink thing starting bleeding!! we stood there in shock. wth. it was really bleeding. it may not have been blood but it was definitely bleeding in it's own way. and when you hit it, there's this soft cracking sound.. so i went to try killing it. gah! i freaked out when i was hitting the poor thing but i continued the hit it.. well, just a couple of hit more.. and then i really freaked and stop.
we wanted to know what it was so we waited for the eco boys to come and explain things to us but they didnt show so we went up.
and when we went to check out SS paper, which i failed, we asked an eco boy[Well, jerry] what it was.. he said they were eggs! "eggs of some monster." so i told him to try cracking the eggs.. haha.. and i told him what he did.. =D
3rd, my mom is giving me a damn hard time. she makes it hard to live. i'm serious. she read my diary and now, she's using it against me.. i dont wanna talk much about this either.. it makes me kinda angry. and i cant cry anymore. out of tears..

so this is it.. my update.
keep it real.

this is going to be painful..

WHAT THE FUCK?!!!?
damn.. 'friends' can just be such fucking sly, cunning pieces of shit..
like what the hell man.. who knew that bitchface could do such a thing behind my back.. and to discover that such things has been going on behind my back..
FUCK YOU SHITFACE!!!!!! YOU FUCKING CHICKEN HEAD!
who knew such things could happened behind my back.. and to find it our from him.. i thank god that he's my close buddy..
thought you could get away? FUCK YOU!
i'm gonna make your life so miserable. you know i'm capable of such things..
i may look weaker than you on the outside but you know that i can do GREAT and PAINFUL things to people.. and get away with it..
WATCH IT, BITCHFACE!

just had to post something..

not much i guess.. but i did that! =D

screw it!

my friends were attacked by marsiling people the other day.
morons.. marsiling secondsary school people are fugly maggots man.. immature freaks..
i cant judge neighbourhood school just because marsiling sucks and it's a neighbourhood school.. because i came from Queenstown. and Queenstown is a totally awesome school. do i regret not staying there? well, no. i like it where i am.. just imagine, if i were still in Queenstown, no doubt my grades would be better but my attitude towards things could vary very differently. so i'm glad that i'm at a 'better' school. but the stress is just KILLER!
the final year papers start tomorrow.. it's gonna be really hectic for me. i'll be having really little sleep and i dont think i'll make it out alive.
although, i do plan to live after i die from the exams.
i totally do not understand macbeth.. such language should be banned.. haha..
the way they talk in those times is so hard to comprehend! seriously..
to study or not to study. that is the question.

how cool was it?

yesterday, a hell lot of things happened.
the day before yesterday, i had already planned to go out with my buds. but i did not dare to ask my mom. so i didnt.
the next morning, my mom walked over to my bedside to ask me what my plans were for the day. so i asked her, "can i go out with my friends after school?"
the same old questions come up. "with whom?", "where?", "when?".. so on..
so i said "JJ, Chien Ming and YZ."
and she was all like, "1 girl with 3 guys?!?"
and after that, i dont think you really wanna know what happened.
so obviously, the answer was no. and i was pissed.
anyhow, i still wanted to go out.
so i skipped school to complete some work at home.
my mom did want me home to study.. so i did.
still, i wanted to go out. so my sister helped me.
she told my mom that i'll only be out for 2 hours.. =D *hehe.. *
anyhoo, i went out to meet the fellas and we went to do stuff.
JJ desperately wanted to watch frostbite, "frostbiten", so did ming.
and it was rated. the only way was to sneak in.. and the fun starts here!
i took my sister's IC, because she's 17 and i can pull her face off. xD
so we bought the tickets and was very taken aback when the ticket dude didnt ask us for our ICs.. we thought we had done it.
However, i believe that guy knew that we would get screwed at the cinema entrance.
we went to the front of the cinema and stood outside, trying to plan our stategy.
at the moment, i saw this 2 girls having a really long talk with the entrance lady. and one of them was 'searching' her pockets. duh! and IC..
so after the long talk, they walked away.. and i went up to them to ask what happened. and i guessed it right. they were trying to sneak in. and they're 14!
so i went to tell the guys.. and what the heck. we just tried our luck. and obviously, we failed.. dang.
so we were given an opportunity to change the movie. so we changed it to "click", hoping that the theatre would be close to the on that was showing "frostbite". unfortunately, no.. it was far from it. try 2 levels far! click was on the 4th floor.. frostbite was on the 6th. we didnt wanna watch "click" no more. then i saw that the show, "devil wears prada" started at the same time as "frostbite". so i thought, "why not?"
so we changed the tickets again with an excuse that i bought the wrong tickets and the guys were unhappy with the show that i got. so the lady was nice and she allowed me to change 'em. and this time, it was all good.
"devil wears prada" was just a theater across from "frostbite". and so, with much convenience, we sneaked in. HAH!
frostbite wasnt a very nice show though.. haha. but i mean, the experience was greatly fun. we did funny stuff. like trying to find the door where people exit from once the movie is over and entering them. haha..
it's was all good..

what a beautiful day.
and what was even more amazing was that we were all wearing white shirts, with 3 quarter kinda pants. for the guys, it was like board shorts and for me, it was jeans folded into 3 quarter. the guys were all wearing adidas shoes.. and i just choose to wear my vans.. just imagine if i wore my adidas shoe.. how cool would that be man!
matching outfits without any planning whatsoever.. haha..

keep it real.

MAN! it was a shizzle!

the other day, i went to sheena's house and hacked her bar.
there was so many kinds of liquor, vodka.. so on..
i wasnt feeling very happy that day, so i thought i'd drink some.
i took the "absolute peach" and drank like one glass FULL of it.

DON'T EVER DO THAT~!!

in the beginning, it was all good. and soon, i begin to burn up in my belly.
anyhow, i drank the whole cup.
when i stood up to go get my phone, i was damn dizzy.
like blood was flowing away from my brain or something.
i think i was close to getting drunk. but hey, i dont drive.
it was super hard to drink after a while, but i still drank it anyhow.

DON'T DRINK THAT MUCH UNLESS YOU CAN TAKE IT.

the feeling that i got was kinda off the hook.
not that i'm promoting it..
BUT... yeah. it was some experience.
vodka keeps you warm. drink it on the cold winter's day.
however singapore has no winter.
so dont drink it at all.

I DARE YOU TO TRY IT =P

"Absolute Peach" smells great!
though it doesnt taste as great. but still drinkable.
Drinking alcohol when you're pissed or upset,
it's worse than drinking it when you're happy.
people only think it'll sooth their pain but it actually makes it worse.
i told my friend about this experience.
and she said,
" after drinking alcohol, if you feel dizzy, you know it's bad for health."
cool. so i just took away a percentage of my life.

I COULD DIE..

uh huh.. right.

well, if you think i'm gonna post about what happened in school, i'm not. because i'm way over it. sheena helped me.
you see, what you sick bastards saw was my pants and not what you think it was. get it straight. Sheena told me that ultimately, what you guys saw was my pants and that's the fact. i dont care what people think it was. haha.. i've got my life to live.
about the tag, the poster has a sad life and guess it was jealous or something. i do not act 'ang moh'. BI.. it all comes down to jealousy. and Elaine, Charr and i tend not to be affected by dimwits. we're composed ladies, unlike the typical girls that you see here, in singapore.
anyway, i went to church today. and it was great! because we couldnt have much of MM practice, we had a prayer session. we prayed and 'interceed' for people. there was only 4 of us and the power of God just came. after, we had praise and worship. it was awesome man..
anyway, i'm outie..
have a nice day

i'm barely making it out alive..

yesterday was thee most terrible of the school year. mrs foo was totally bitching and i thought she was nice. guess she proved me wrong. mrs foo actually went to tell elaine, who was crying, not to cry in HER chemistry class.. she went, " Can you not cry in my chemistry lesson? cry after school." that was damn insensitive if you ask me.. during that lesson, she confiscated a music theory workbook [which i happened to be the one doing it], an ipod and a cellphone. fortunately, all was returned.
but the point of me writing this today is to show how insensitive teachers are.

ironically, i have to do this teachers' day performance. i'm really exhausted from it. but i've got to carry on, doing the best

i've kinda reached all limits.

oh look! my blog has been saved..i think my friend helped me..

anyway, i think i've kinda reached all my limits.. my patience is running dry and my emergy is also running low.. btw, i'm a really patient person. i can take all sorts of crap you push to my face.

Jerry's friends have been dimwitted boneheads these past few days. wait. correction. weeks.. and well, there's no doubt, i find it irritating but what the heck.. my parents brought me up well. so i didnt let them bother me.. let them be. they wanna be morons, that's their problem.
However, today.. i think they kinda crossed the line.

i was walking down the stairs and i saw mr yeo.. then cheng wei.. i continue walking because i know i'll just get the same crap that i always get anyway.. and i was right.. i heard lil' teases or something. Walked a couple more steps and then someone, who i think was cheng wei, shouted, "Jerry's Stead".. unless i heard wrongly or something. that was what it was..

what is your problem? you know at that very instant, i felt like dropping/throwing my bag onto the ground, walk up to cheng wei, hold him by the collar or something and yell in his damned face, "BEAT IT, DOOFUS!"
if only i were not so composed..

Weiyi was with me then, so i got her to turn around to see if Jerry was there.. Duhh. he was.. aint it obvious?

i feel it's so friggin' unfair because i cant talk to him and that's like probably the end of our friendship or something. unless one day, his friends decide to humble up or something. the only time i can say hi without having to affect him is when he's alone or with yew hung.. even so, after all that has happened, who knows what he could be thinking.. i'm not psychic.

is it me?

just because their own lives are bullcrap, it doesnt mean they gotta mess up mine and jerry's life, with such juvenile behaviour.

i had enough of pretty much everything.. friends, trouble amongst close friends and the common test is adding pressure.

I gotta learn how to deal...

yupp! i definitely love bball.

i went to the philips open today. it's a basketball match, in case you dont know. the pictures arent up yet. i have to find the time to post them. it's now the common test period but i took the time off to go watch the game with my sister and bro.. ^^.. it was fun. my cousin went too.. but i didnt know he went there until he text messaged me and asked me what i was doing there.. -_-"
well, the games were great. but i gotta say, in the beginning, when it was Singapore against Melbourne, the dumbass commentator was damn biased.. i wanted to punch him in the face or something. like wth was he trying to do? bias ass..
well, i'll talk more about it another time. but for now, i gotta go.. because it's getting late and i still need to do my homework. xD
well, see ya'll round.

what a day!

i was the MC for the national day ceremony in the morning and now, i have officially become a school MC. not sure if that's an honourable thing to become..

so i have a concern.. i signed myself up for an australia trip and i got selected without much consideration. that's what the teacher who put my name in said.. BUT! i'm helping my class with the teacher's day performance.. and we might be leaving on wednesday night. and teachers' day performance is on thursday! what am i gonna do?

anyway, told was pretty fun once school was over.. we went to beauty world to play lan.. haha.. man. that place is damn nice.. then after, i went to meet yao zhong take a bus to PS to hang out with JJ, ming and their friends.. anyway i wont go into detail.. too tired.. x]

have a nice day..

it was fun.

okay. so today went pretty well.. i'm quite glad that it was.
Elaine, Charr, Renu, I and some others went on to discuss our teachers' day thing. we are so totally gonna kick ass! haha.. well, basically because we're gonna be doing a musical..
and it's gonna be so great because we're gonna have live music and singing. well, duh.. originality.
so after CCA, cheryl and i went to watch the soccer match. i think it was 307 against 310.. the score? 6-1.. 310 won.. 307's defence was low, could be because jing xing wasnt the GK.. anyway, during the game, marcus asked me if i wanted to play soccer.. haha.
Marcus has been great. he actually encourages me to set up a co-ed soccer team. that means both boys and girls would play as one team. if nan hua were to have that, i'd be overjoyed. quit my current cca and join that, hoping to still keep my cca points. x] haha..
anyway, so Cheryl and i went to play soccer! why wouldnt we? SOCCER IS FUN!
and while playing, i realised that it's really tough to play with a skirt on. it gets in your way. seriously.. right then, i wanted to take my skirt off and just play in shorts. but it'll be unethical for a female of such to do something of that sort. the guys will gasps.. wouldnt you?
so me being the trippy sort, fell. xD the picture of my bruise is on my picture blog.. as usual..
haha.. oh well... btw, it was yao hui who made me fall. cheryl wanted to go trip him. haha! but since he apologised so many times, i thought i'd let it go.
it's my 1st time playing soccer with school people. it's not too bad. but i still would rather play with JJ and 'gang'.. because when i play with them, i dont feel like i'm out of place. than i'm of a weaker species because i'm a female. i just feel like one of them. which is great! it truly is..
and today i also found out yao zhong's brother's name once again. it's yu jian.. haha. and immature people always give me that crap. well, dont wanna get into that now.. it'll be really long and really painful.. just a lil.
so off i go.. it's dinner time and i gotta see who gets voted off singapore idol. i hope it's jonathan, though i dont think it will be. i find him gay.. like the hair and the eyes and his face.. haha..
right then.

Have a nice day ahead of you!