untitled. cause i really dont know what title i should give.

Yesterday, i gave Ziyang letter with a cd sealed inside which i bought. I thought the cd was pretty good. A christian band, Tree 63, which plays music that are a little heavy. But it's alright. Because Ziyang's taste in music is a bit far off from slow christian songs.

Hannah, von and i went shopping!! but we didn't buy much. Just a couple of nail polishes and von bought herself a really nice bag. Which she obviously loves!! we went to subway for lunch.. but before that, i had met with chork. It was rather awkward for me. It's been like a year since we've seen each other and he had grown really tall. Try 188cm? I felt like a little dwarf.

And that made me realise that when i look down on people, the feeling that the 'dwarfs' feel is really something uncalled for. God told us to love his people not look down on them. Everyone is equal. Why must there be this mocking thing? It's just wrong. Like on the bus, on our way back from shopping, there was this wayy obnoxious guy.. he was like calling the person ,that he was talking to on the phone, an idiot! Can you beat that? And he was like “ Cut that Crap!” emphasising on the Cs.. but we were laughing at him.. haha!

Well, anyway, i wasn't really into the shopping thing. Cause it's not really my thing. But hannah and yvonne were really trying very hard to find something that i would love buying for myself. Like skirts. EWWW!! haha.. i tried the skirt thing already but apparently, i don't dig it. That why now i'm back to my usual jeans, board shorts and shirt thing. If i were to wear a skirt, i would have to find a nice shirt that would go along with it. And the shirt would obviously be like just right or tight fitting. I don't like that. Oh wells.. i did find one nice skirt though. But it was expensive.. so i didn't buy it.... OH! And we took pictures [look below]

At night, after bible study, hannah and i hopped on over to mother's office. On our way, i told her about the fart thing.. not that you guys need to know, but anyway she laughed. Then we talked about Ziyang's long hair.. haha.. that it was getting longer. And that it was getting a bit weird, not for us, but for other people( possibly ).. we were used to it already. And Hannah told me that when she goes for her next haircut at Audrey's, she'll drag Ziyang and Neil. Haha.. it was so funny.. oh wait.. on the train, we saw this guy with an extra finger..it was freaking hannah out! Haha.. so cool!

Keep it real!


it'll remain a memory.


Kids!! =P


our nails are multi coloured. but you cant really see.


this one's blur. sorry. the picture was really tiny. i resized it.

i really didnt know!

i just visited Ziyang's blog. who knew that he appreciated Hannah and I that much. well, it's pretty touching.

i'm not sure why but it's like when the 3 of us hang, it feels like there's noboby who can break this chain of bonds. something so strong that it can NEVER be ruined. Previously, it was always the ACC Clan. which consisted of Hannah, Neil, Elroy and I. The four of us made the clan and we always hanged out after church. The four of us were tight. until Elroy started skipping church. then James came into the picture. and if Elroy came, it'll be the 5 of us. Tight and all.
soon, James had to go to the army and we were left with 3. again! and James kinda changed over a period of time. All of us could feel it.
and along came Ziyang! well, he joined the 'clan' with some hidden agendas but anyway, he's hanging with us now. and Neil, well, he kinda changed too. i didnt like it. Hannah feels it's awkward and Ziyang thinks he's eccentric. so he doesnt really hang with us no more.
and as you can see... the clan couldnt remain as one the whole time. people were coming in and going out. never stable. and now, Ziyang, Hannah and I. we make a great team! i assure you that this one will remain and never disperse. we will stand united! under one God.. it truly is very genuine. aint nobody will break the bond.
this is why i'm SOOO certain that the chains of bond are solid are durabe!! plus, i think we'll go FARR!!!
and like when i'm with Ziyang, i feel like i can tell him anything. like i do with Hannah. and it's really strange coz even when Elroy was my god-bro(unoffically. duh), i would tell him stuff but still i will keep my distance. like i wouldnt fool around with him. but with Ziyang, i call him many nasty names and i torture him. which is seriously fab. though we arent related ***, i feel that i'm really close to him like i am with my own sister.

Ziyang, ask me about the meaning of the 3 'stars'..

well.. have a great day ahead of you!

some really harsh poems..

all my poems are untitled.

number 1.

You want me to keep peace
Keep the family as one, with ease.
You're making it harder each time i try.
i would rather you be out of my life.

i dont like you.
not one bit.
i wanna be free!!
cant you see?

Being a figure skater isnt stupid.
neither is it dumb.
it's aint useless.
dont insult it unless you're one!

so you yell, scream and shout at me.
i sit at a corner, looking up to thee.
crying in silence,
hoping to be freed.

You make my life so miserable.
thinking about it makes me feel small.
you dont bother about how anyone feels anymore.
i dont think you ever did before.

Why is it that i'm stuck with you?
suffering in silence,
what am i to do?
i only want my dad by my side.

You aint the best mother.
and you dont have to be.
it's just my luck i'm stuck with you.
oh Lord, help me get through.

Push it any further and i will breakdown.
until then, how i feel has not been found.
you dont have the right to judge me,
when you keep wallowing in self-pity.

i pray everyday that it'll be better.
but once you get home,
it's only how you feel that matters.
you make me wanna moan.

i only wanna stick to my dad.
and not you.
i dont need to experience your fury.
i'm good on my own.

i dont wanna live like this anymore.
i wanna resolve this problem once and for all.
help me get over this really quickly.
for it is only you(the Lord) who makes me happy..


number 2..( freakin jealousy against my sister)

Why do you always get to be something i cant?
call me spoiled, like you know who i am.
you've never been called 'fat'.
so what do you know about that?
NOTHING!!

You may seem all perfect and fun.
but trust me, you're not one.
i act like nothing is wrong.
seriously, you're just being conned.

Piss off, yeah?
i dont need you here.
go do your thing far away from me.
i dont want you near.

so you're more highly thought of than me.
and i'm like a little girl, the age of 3.
i'm never voted to lead,
only to do the silly.

An angel in a play?
oh please, like that's a step up.
you are an I/C of the deco team!
now, that's something!!

gee.. whatever.

some pictures.. for fun.

what a pose! x)



Kicked.



Sure Royalty



wanna have a nap, i see..



awww.. he looks so cute.



The World's Biggest Bear..



Ninja's hide their identity, blending with the shadows.



2 Ninjas Kickback!



Life From The Closet.


Well, that's all for now.. it aint much, but good enough.

hehe...

howdie ya'll! Believe it or not, I'm using my PSP to post this entry... It's way cool!! Anyhoo, I just ended camp. It was great! I'll put up the pictures once i've uploaded em'...
Anyway, our christmas service is coming soon! OH JOY! Well, i'll be playing an angel and some other roles. But they're all non-speaking roles... so yeah. However, I've set myself a challenge! This year, I've got to bring a friend, irregardless of who they are. Well, actually i've already got someone in mind. But i've got to ask.

preetty!

well these are some pictures from my sister's Grad night..








so it's just two. tag me if you wanna see more.. kinda lazy to put it up..

lalalalaa..

i cant wait to go to america and visit all my friends and grandparents!! anyway... i had camp last week and a spider bit me.. haha.. my whole had swelled.. and my sister rubbed it in by poking it..haha.. she's such a dork!
i'm gonna get my skates!! my dad's gonna help me get 'em.. i can hardly wait!

picture..

my sis and people of the world..



Jammers..

Right..

So i'm like sitting here, waiting for something to happen.
Feeling cold, scared and numb.
Wonder what it's going to be like,
sitting down here like an empty appartment.
I can hear my heart thumping in my ears.
Oh Lord, am i shedding a tear?
Why does it feel like shit, when in reality,
looking at the circumstances, it's actually quite a bliss.
What is this thing that i'm feeling?
It's like something i've felt once in my life before.
Man.. now i'm stuck in this stupid situation.
and to tell you the truth, i hardly feel liberated.
if it was in church, i'd be glad.
I'll feel comfy, like in my own bed.
There aint nothing to be satisfied about.
besides that i'm all tired out..

Dundee Street..

Along the roads of Dundee Street,
Lives a nice old lady who makes wonderful spagetti,
And sews many great dresses.
she has 5 cats that keep her company,
And plays this game called 'many wild guesses'.

Her good friend is mexican,
And she is just as fun.
Her name is Margot and she keeps cats too.
They go out for tea and buns,
starring into each others eyes of blue.
It's way cool.

So i get to visit them every now and then.
Oh.. How i miss them so.
It's going to be winter the next time i see them.
My grandmother and her good friend.

whatever..

How dare you demoralise me?
crushing all my hopes and dreams.
Telling me it's a waste of time,
how mean can you be?

I pray and weep.
Hoping for a miracle to happen.
My faith is strong, My heart is pure.
Oh Lord, let me not be weakened.

This has been my life long dream,
Ever since i was a kid.
In one second, it was crushed
By that woman you gave to me.

Aren't mothers suppose to be supportive,
Giving all the support they can give?
I'd rather forget about my dream,
because you gave her to me.

whatever,,

Fun.. i was being stupid.

What is it all about?
Fun, is it the only one?
That helps me cope,
keeps me afloat?

Fun.
I love it when it involves guns.
Shooting people down,
making them run.

The opposite of fun,
is nuf.
You think you're so tough?
Well, it kinda makes me barf.

What have you got that i don't?
Besides that i'm fun and you're not?
Doing what you're told.
I bet you were being bought.

Yes. How fun it is.
To make people pissed.
Making lame remarks
and getting shot down be punks.

My church.. just so you know, Alive Community Church.

I only stepped in when i was 12.
and i felt really welcomed.
They made me seem important
and i felt the hearts warming.

My sister was there with me too.
That made me feel something completely new.
For a moment, it was too much.
I thought it wouldn't last.

Their praise turned me inside out.
Their worship turned me outside in.
i soon felt that i was spinning round
until i could not feel a single thing.
It soon came to an end.
I thought i could no longer feel God's presence again.

Along came Yvonne.
She helped me see
that problems didn't matter
when God had all the power
to blow my troubles away.
Boy, did i feel better!

What an awesome experience.
It'll forever be entrenched to my heart.
And I'll never forget this church
which helped me realise my love for Thee.

The one and only, ACC!

friends.. uh huh..

Some friends are gross,
some are weird.
But those that i despise
are the ones who jeer.

The worst of the lot would be --------a [ just pronounce the 'a' ]
for she is such a dweeb,
i can't even give way.
Would she ever stop for a minute to think that,
that ain't right?
To be fussing around all day and night?

If you think I'm being mean,
just stop, look and see.
If you know me,
then you'll know I'm really patient.
And now, i can't even stand this person!

Because of this reason,
my mood's displeasin' .
But once I'm older,
I'll get over.
While Miss Nasty is getting even colder.

No basic manners or principles.
Her poor parents.
They must feel do discouraged.
Cheer up, it's okay.
Leave her be.
Wait, you'll see.
She'll be dealt with ungentlely.
Not by me but by a stranger that will never flee.

Herself.

My uttmost cry [Prayer]

Oh Lord,
I plead that you hear my cry.
To see what my heart desire.
I cannot handle the situation.
I'm bounded by my own limitations.
There ain't no other reason.
I wanna be in thy presence.

I need you more than ever now.
Even more than i did before.
The truth be told,
i rather skip town or even fall.
It's too much to take!
Worse than some blasting debate.
I would hide or run away,
but you've made me realised that,
that ain't the way.
I look up to the sky,
the sun shining in my eyes,
and i seriously wonder why.

How can someone be so judgmental
against the will of God?
Judging the house of the Lord.
Isn't that a major flaw?
Why didn't i stand up to defend your name?
It's now not mine to gain.

Forever trying to find the answer.
But with her pulling me even lower,
I feel like dirt under the earth,
stuck in a black universe.
Who can I turn to, besides you?
What else can I do?

I want her to disappear from all i can see,
but i know that is not possible.
I need time to be alone.
Away from whatever that's here.
Take me away! Far away!
So i can be close to you all day.

My time ain't up yet,
but i feel that it is.
Why is it so hard to live?
Life is a gift from you.
But i guess it's mine to choose.
Whether to be true or to be screwed.

Loving ain't easy and you know it!
My life is all so cheezy and i'm getting dizzy.
Just to be me, it's all the same.
Flying high, being chained.
How ironic it is.
Sarah, the person always blamed.

Love..

Love ain't easy, love's real tough.
Love's so hard, it makes me barf.
5 was number, now it's 4.
and for that, i thank the Lord!

It's the B's and the J's.
Who am i to them?
It's kinda hard to say.
Whether or not I'll be with Mr right,
it up to those who stays.

My billboard lives!
Unless 3 names are strike off,
I shall be amidst.
How am i suppose to think
when something i can't control
is making me bleed?

Oh.. the pain and agony!
My love for you would be true.
If you're the one,
please say, “ I do.”
Forgetting the past and remembering the new,
making up for times which were screwd.

The last 4 names,
I shan't reveal.
For i shall wait till time is still,
wishing that I'll be with you.
The choice ain't mine to choose
but the Lord's to deal.


*product of Sarah.*

for audrey and jo..

gee.. today, i kinda gave a very big wrong impression to my two friends, audrey and jo. i shared with them the dream i had last night and gave them a major wrong impression that isnt very good.
i dreamt that i went to the polo shop and saw this polo tee that cost $138. and i only had $131. so it wasnt enough and so i had to go back and get the tee another day.
and then i told Aud and Jo that i always have enough money with me. !!!! but like that because i like finding out the prices 1st.. i aint a extravegent freak.. ahhh!!! sorie ya'll.. gave you a money spending freak sarah impression =X
i suddenly thought of it and like.. i dont want you guys to feel that i'm some freak, from another planet, who likes money for the wrong reasons.. kay'?

once you read this, please tag!!! haha.. so i know.

thankew..

anyway, nothing much happened today..

sweet.

today was pretty fun. we went to watch a movie, the cave. my goodness.. it scared the day out of me.. yeah.. JJ, YZ, Jon[not sure why he suddenly came, but i can infer], DY, KaiL and I.. it was wayy fun.. i think.
the show creeped me and KaiL out and like the guys have the cheek to show us their smug looking face.. we were screeaming during the show.. yeah.. it was freaky.
and like i promised JJ i'll talk to him.. but like Jon and YZ were talking to him, so i couldnt really talk.. yeah.. i'm sorie. we'll go out again and i shall talk to you kay'?
sorie!!
so like i'm gonna be so dead.. havent touched my term-break homework. whoa! i'm gonna be kill..
and cheryl has cramped my mind with the "aye'. you know, Brother Bear..
haha..
it's so cute..
and like on monday, we gotta wear the stupid ties? how stupid is that??? like a freaking blue tie, with a background of white.
YUCK!!!
anyway, i shall be going now..

* i'm still waiting for your birthday to come. cant wait..

how would you feel?

hectic week i suppose.. got all my results back for the common tests.. and realised how insensitive people can be. like when they get higher marks than you do, they cry right in front of you .. makes you feel like jumping off the tallest building right? my goodness. like give me a break.. you already passed your overall!! i didnt! dont bitch around in front of me. i dont take it well. and it's like some of my other friends are feeling that some people can be realli insensitive.. so i dont alone! thankew!! you know, i realli hope insensitive people would realise how much hurt they have caused to people. i not being judgemental or whatsoever but i realli think they outta know what's it like when people are insensitive towards you. i can tell you now, insensitive people, you're gonna hate the shit out of it! you will not like it one bit! so quit being insensitive before i treat you like dust underneath my foot. and dont even think of apologizing then.. cause it WILL BE OVER!!!!!!

my dad's back for 5 days.. yay!